


Money Can't Buy Happiness, But Sebastien Is Giving It His Best Shot

by dibbert101



Category: You Could Make a Life Series - Taylor Fitzpatrick
Genre: M/M, i hope you like cliches because that's all this is, there is so much fluff good lord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 05:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8044696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dibbert101/pseuds/dibbert101
Summary: Alternatively, "5 Times Sebastien Boucher Bought Things of Questionably Romantic Nature For Simon Martin, Almost Giving Him Blood Pressure Problems, and One Time Simon Bought Sebastien Something" 
Or 
"Sebastien Tries To Buy Simon's Love" 
Or
"The Lake Was Not the Worst of It" 
Or
"On the Twelfth Day of Christmas Sebastien Bought it All Because He Doesn't Do Subtle"





	Money Can't Buy Happiness, But Sebastien Is Giving It His Best Shot

1\. 

The first thing Seb ever buys Simon is a plane ticket. They’re eighteen, Seb’s a month out from the draft, and Simon is preparing himself for finishing high school, and an eventual move to New Brunswick. 

“What is this?” Simon asks, holding the envelope. 

“Open it, and find out!” Seb’s sitting on Simon’s bed, and is bouncing slightly. Simon doesn’t trust him. 

“I swear to God, if this is another envelope full of glitter…”

“It’s not, I promise. I wouldn’t do that to you four times” 

“Five” Simon corrects. “You got me on my birthday twice.” 

“Oh yeah” Seb mutters, looking pleased “I forgot about that one” 

“I didn’t” 

“Well obviously, you were the one who found glitter in his underwear” 

“I hate you” 

“No you don’t. Just open the fucking envelope, Simon” 

“No” Simon narrows his eyes at Seb. “Is it itching powder?” 

“No” 

“Sneezing powder?” 

“No” 

“Is it weed?” Seb looks offended. 

“Simon, I am better than that. On one of our last nights together? I would at least splurge a little” 

“Sebastien Boucher, did you buy me cocaine?” Simon’s voice cracks. 

“No, Simon, I did not” 

“Fine. I’ll open it. But if it’s a dead animal, I’m going to punch you” 

“Thank you. You’d think you were the one who bought me a present” Seb sits back on his elbows, disturbing Simon’s pillows. 

“Sebastien.” 

“Simon.” 

“Did you buy me a plane ticket?” 

“I bought you two plane tickets, I wouldn’t abandon you in Toronto, what kind of a friend do you think I am?” 

“You bought me plane tickets to go to the draft with you?” Simon has to sit down. His desk chair is covered in laundry. The floor will do. 

“Yep! You’ll be done with school, and it’ll be a last hurrah before you go off to slay the Eastern Province That Shall Remain Nameless with academic magnitude, and I go to score many, many goals.”

“I hate you” Simon is taking Deep Steadying Breaths. He went to a seminar last semester. He knows things. 

“No you don’t” 

“And I suppose you’ve already cleared this with my parents?” Simon looks up at his bed in time to catch Seb making a gesture that could have been offensive, or scoffing, he can’t really tell. 

“Simon. It’s like you don’t know me at all” 

“Hang on, did you book me first class tickets?” 

“Simon, your boy is good with the internet.” Seb rolls over to look at Simon off the edge of the bed. “And I’ve been saving my Q checks” 

He does literal finger guns, winks, and rolls off the bed, and out the door, probably to raid Simon’s parent’s fridge. 

Simon puts his head on the carpet and promises himself he won’t let this be A Thing. 

2\. 

It is, frankly, a disgusting day in New Brunswick. It’s too hot, too humid, and Simon’s cap feels like it has attached itself to his head with sweat. 

“There’s my super smart best friend!” 

“Hi Sebastien” Simon turns to greet Seb, his family not far behind. He looks like, to be honest, a douche. “Are you wearing linen?” 

“Pretty fly, huh?” 

“I don’t think that dignifies a response” 

“You wound me” Seb smiles, pushing up the sunglasses, and fixing the lapels of his suit. “I got you a present” 

“Oh god-”

“Shut up, you’re smart, graduating, and deserve a present” 

“ - okay, I accept with silence and grace” 

“Too fucking right you do, here” Seb shoves a small box and card at Simon. After the card stops singing and Simon has read the, actually quite sweet, note, he opens the box. 

“Holy shit, Seb” 

“If you’re gonna be a fancy accountant, you need some fancy bling to flash in meetings” 

“Holy shit, did you just call this watch ‘bling’?” 

“Are you saying that it isn’t? There are shit loads of sparklies on it” 

“Those are diamonds, Sebastien” 

“I know Simon, dear”

“Well. thank you, I love it” Simon slips the watch on, pushing up the gown sleeve and his shirt sleeve to look at it. It really is a nice watch. Seb opens his arms, grinning. 

“Bring it in, best friend!” 

“Oh God.” 

 

3.

Simon is sitting at his desk, hoping Audrey will read his mind and offer to go on a coffee run when his phone rings. 

“So. You know how you wouldn’t let me buy you a house?” 

“Sebastien.”

“-- and how you wouldn’t let me help you buy your house now?” 

“Sebastien!” 

“AND how you rent your current house because you ‘aren’t ready for that commitment’?” 

“Sebastien. What did you do?” 

“I did nothing. I simply got you a housewarming present” Sebastien sounds smug. Simon has nightmares about the ‘smug’ tone Sebastien currently has. 

“I almost don’t even want to ask…” Simon pinches the bridge of his nose. It’s a habit, but he’s not sure how he picked it up, it does nothing to help. The only thing that would help a Sebastien Headache would be an I.V. drip of something strong, and possibly a swift blow to the back of the head. 

“You know how you wanted to get better at cooking?” 

“Oh God” 

“I simply bought you a set of knives” Seb cries. Simon can see him, probably folding his arms in glee. 

“Dare I ask what kind of knife set?” Simon clicks open Seb’s files, looking for credit card statements and bank records. 

“It is the Wusthof Classic Knife Block, and is one of the best housewarming gifts available on the internet” Seb still sounds smug. Simon gets more nervous, and frantically clicks the Google icon about fourteen more times than necessary, before attacking his keyboard. He’s starting to get a cramp in his upper back. 

“It has a trimming knife, a scalloped paring knife, a regular paring knife, a utility knife, a cheese knife - “ 

“Seb” Simon is staring at a number of knives that are truly worrying, and an even more worrying number next to a dollar sign. 

“ - a soft cheese knife, a tomato knife with a forked tip, a chef’s knife, a cleaver, a 6 inch utility knife - “ 

“SEB, did you really spend $2500 on knives?” 

“ - a carving fork, a flexible fish fillet knife, a hollow edge santuko knife, a bread knife - “ 

“SEBASTIEN” 

“ - will you let me finish?! A deli knife, a hollow edge carving knife, a 10 inch chef’s knife, a sharpening steel rod with loop, and many steak knives” 

“Why am I still friends with you?” Simon moans, resting his head on his keyboard. 

“Because you secretly love me, now shut up, what kind of stuff are you going to chop first?” 

Simon leans back in his chair, and squeezes out a smile. 

“Probably some onions” 

“Excellent choice” 

4\. 

Audrey comes into Simon’s office without knocking. She never knocks. 

“You have a visitor” She says, smirking. 

“Oh no” Simon says, setting down his pen. That’s her Sebastien Smile. He doesn’t trust the Sebastien Smile. The last time this happened his office was green. He’s still finding Mardi Gras beads behind his bookshelf. 

“I’ll tell him you’re in one of your grumpy moods” Audrey steps out, and Simon takes a deep breath. 

“Hi Best Friend!!” Seb walks in and hops over the back of one of the chairs in front of Simon’s desk, settling in, propping his feet on the table. 

“Seb. Nice to see you. I saw you this morning” 

“I know, but I felt you should hear about this in person” 

“Oh no” Simon steels himself. “What did you do?” 

“So you remember the lake?” 

“Seb. I will still remember the lake when I am dead” 

“Oh good, so you remember. Well - ” 

“Oh sweet Jesus” Simon rests his face in his hands, his elbows on the desk. 

“ - it’s only a small lake! But Si, the lake needs fun things” 

“Please tell me you didn’t buy a water plane” 

“Si, please, I’m not ridiculous. I bought a boat” 

Simon slowly lifts his head to see Seb looking at him over steepled fingers. He thinks it makes him look Distinguished. He’s still the moron who convinced Simon to commit mutiny over gold fish in grade one. 

“What kind of boat?” 

“A nice one.” 

“Seb.”

“Si.” 

“I don’t like that you’ve gotten better at this” 

“Look” Seb moves in the seat to pull folded papers out of his back pocket. “I even brought you all the paperwork this time” 

Simon is looking at a, frankly, nice boat. A really nice boat. 

“Hang on, It’s 22 feet long, that’s about the size of the narrow part of the lake?” 

“Hmmm?” Seb looks up from rearranging Simon’s pens. 

“Did you look at the size of the boat before you bought it?” 

“Of course I did Simon, I am not a fool”

“Then why did you buy a boat that your lake isn’t deep enough to float?” 

“I said it was for the lake? Silly me, I meant it was for when I go fishing.” 

“Fishing?” Simon’s voice almost cracks, and his eyebrows are in danger of disappearing off of his face. “You? Fishing?” Simon remembers many a summer spent with Seb, steadfastly Not Going Fishing. 

“Yes, what else am I supposed to do when I visit you? You refuse to leave the office or take vacation days. I sit in your house, and I get bored” 

“Are you telling me. That you bought a boat, for while you visit me, even though I live an hour - you know what, no. We’re returning it” 

“Simon, do you want me to waste away when I come visit you? Netflix only has so much” Seb looks at him pleadingly, shifting in the seat to lean towards Simon. 

“Seb. You could go to the gym, or you could not come visit me for months at a time”

“But Simon! We must have Best Friend Time!” 

“God forbid we cut into Best Friend Time” Simon mutters, putting his head back in his hands, and resigning himself to finding a place to dock, store, and take care of a boat for nine months of a year. 

5\. 

Simon wakes up, and quietly flips a shit. He and Seb slept together. Seb has feelings for him. Simon is still getting to grips with his own feelings. Holy fuck. 

Seb’s hair pokes up from the covers. It’s not helping Simon. Not at all. He closes his eyes and takes a few more Deep Calming Breaths. 

“I didn’t know you still did that” Seb whispers. He’s rolled over and only his nose pokes over the blanket, his eyes looking softly at Simon. 

“I’ve had a lot of practice. The lake almost killed me. I signed up for a refresher course” 

“You know, one day, you’ll see the merits of the lake, once you stop trying to see if there is a law that makes the purchase invalid” 

“I still think we could claim insanity” Simon rolls onto his side to look at Seb. 

“That’s just not nice, and you know it” Seb says, eyes narrowing. His hair looks stupid. Or. Not stupid. Just messy. Simon feels his face heat up, and his cheeks rising up in a smile. What the fuck, he gave no permission for that. 

“We’ll see” 

“Hey, we’re locked in now, I have years to show you the best-ness of the lake” Seb brings an arm out of the covers just to point in Simon’s face. “Kids can skate on it in the winter, it’s good for doing the weird floating thing you say relaxes you because you can’t drift away like you can in the ocean, and there’s enough room for a puppy.” 

“I’m sure” Simon allows Seb’s hand to casually drift down, and make a grab for his fingers. 

“Excellent.” They just kind of lie there, looking at each other, holding hands. 

“Hang on” Simon is having a horrifying thought. “Did you buy the lake with the intention of you retiring there, or of us retiring there?”

“Simon, honestly, why do you think I buy most things? You had no need for all those knives, but one has to show their commitment to the future. That’s why I bought the lifetime guarantee” 

“Oh my God” 

“Really? You’ve never figured this out?” Sebastien scooches closer, eyes crinkling with a smile. 

“Fuck me” Simon mutters, trying to shove his face under Seb’s, wait no, his pillow, this house is still his, despite Seb’s best efforts. 

“I did already, no come back here, we’re having a moment and you’re going to like it.” Seb starts to shove Simon until he’s lying half on top of him, cutting off all escape routes through the use of NHL Arms and truly unfair NHL legs. “I will continue to buy you presents, don’t worry, it wasn’t just for wooing purposes” 

“I hate you” Simon gives up, and goes limp as Seb sits up on top of him and raises his arms in victory. 

“No you don’t. Stay here, I have another present” He, there’s no other word for it, scampers across the room to his bags and rifles around for a few seconds. 

“Really? No more, please, I don’t think I can take it anymore” Simon lies back and shields his eyes from the world and his, frankly embarrassing feelings. He can’t escape them in his brain, but he can damn well try to escape from looking at the bare ass that causes a lot of them. 

“Here” Seb slides back under the covers, dropping a shirt on Simon’s arm. Simon blinks and holds it up. 

“You fuck” He says holding it up. There it is, in black lettering: Boyfriend Material. Seb’s grin is terrifying. 

“But Simon, you are boyfriend material, it’s just telling the truth.” He leans in to give Simon a kiss. Simon wishes he could be grumpier than he is. But he’s too happy in the moment. He smiles and kisses Seb back. 

 

+1. 

Simon smiles at the barista as he takes the two coffee’s, dropping his change into the tip jar, and starts walking back to his house. 

He smiles at the kid on his bike. He’s sure he was careful not to be creepy. 

He smiles at the dog he walks by. 

He unlocks his door, juggling the coffee and his keys, slipping off his shoes, and tiptoeing through the hall and up the stairs. 

He opens the door to his room, and smiles. 

Seb’s asleep, the blankets falling off of him, his NHL back on show (“it’s important it get recognized, babe, I put a lot of effort into it”). He’s the best asleep. He’s the best awake. He’s the best, in general. Simon disgusts himself sometimes. 

Simon looks for something to throw at Seb, finds a sock, and drills it towards Seb’s face. He just grunts and rolls over. 

“Why.” Seb grumbles, rubbing at his eyes. 

“Felt right.” Simon chuckles, moving to put the coffee on the bedside table, settling himself down on the edge of the bed by Seb’s hip. 

“Hmmmm, is that coffee I smell?” 

“Mhm” Simon looks at Seb’s face, rubbing his arm. “Happy anniversary, Seb.” 

“Oh you hopeless romantic you” Seb grins and leans up to kiss Simon. He sighs into it, comfortable and happy. “And you bought be coffee, look at you, big spender” 

“Well it’s no lake” Simon concedes, and kisses Seb’s forehead. 

“Oh my god, let it go.” 

“Never” 

“You like it” 

“It has it’s merits” Simon smiles down at Seb, trying to smooth out the bed head. 

“I win! You admitted it, you love it, you love me, and I have won!” Seb throws his arms around Simon and rolls over him. “I have worn you down! I am the champion!” 

“I do love you, you fuck.” 

“Good, I’m running out of expensive things to buy you.” Seb kisses Simon. And Simon is happy. And terrified there’s going to be some kind of new vehicle appearing later in the day. 

Little does he know, it’s going to be some new bling.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
